Thursday, December 13, 2012

Stay Married

As our wedding date is quickly approaching (5/17/13 in Hawaii) more stress keeps getting brought on. Last night, my grandma {who if you don’t read this blog is the next closest thing to my mom} called to say that she wasn’t going to be able to attend the wedding. I don’t have many family members. I have my mom, my sister, and my grandma on my dad’s side.  I do have a few others but we are not as close (grandma & grandpa, aunt, cousin, extended family) and they have already told me that they will not be able to make it to the wedding due to different reasons.

 So I was completely crushed when the words came out of my grandma’s mouth. I tried to be understanding until I got off the phone and fell to pieces. I then called my mom and later talked to R when he got home. After much discussion and tears {and R asking if we could pay part of the way, since its destination wedding... god I love that man.} I have come to terms and realized that it’s going to be what it will be and I don’t have full control. I am however very blessed that I will have mom to walk me down the aisle and my sister by my side. I’m also very blessed to be received into such a loving gracious family. This does not mean I’m still not taking it tough.

 I think this is hard for me because I have had an idea of what my wedding would be since I was a little girl and now as things and plans change it’s hard not to feel a little hurt that’s it’s not everything you envisioned. However, my mom said something to me last night that really hit home after thinking more about it. She said “this is about a relationship, it’s about you & R, it’s not about anyone else and it’s about the love that is between the two of you. Don’t lose focus of that.”  {Wow.. Good, Right?!} I originally decided that I had wanted a destination wedding because we wanted something small with the ones we loved the most by our sides in a beautiful place to share the special love and bond we had. That has not changed. I need to remember I am so blessed that I have found this amazing man and I can’t wait to be his wife. Even if it’s just the two of us standing there that is special.
Speaking of marriage I thought I would share this blog that I read pretty often. I love their take on things and even if you are not married they have some really good things to read and remember or share.

 Only more day to a much needed drink weekend! XOXO


  1. I would be sad too if people I was close to couldn't make it. It sounds like you have a very supportive fiance and mom who gave you sound advice. I like small and intimate affairs since I to think it's about you and your SO.

    Hawaii is beautiful! I'm so excited for you.

  2. I can relate to this a million times over. If it helps any, I can tell you having a wedding where you are from is a million times more stressful. I cried more times than I can count due to feelings being hurt, people having strong opinions, nobody offering to help but my mom, etc. etc. Going away is the best way to reduce stress. I am sure you will be upset for a while about your grandma but it's unfortunately just the risk you take with a destination wedding.

    My brother got married in June in Kauai and I was asked to be in the wedding. I was THRILLED because we only reconnected when I was 18 (didn't grow up together) so it was a huge compliment to me. We were all set to go and then the DAY I went to book our plane tickets my husband told me he thought it was best that we didn't go due to finances. I was absolutely heartbroken. I know my brother was bummed but he totally understand, because after all it is Hawaii, it isn't a cheap destination.

    Keep in mind that your grandmother is doing this to hurt your feelings. You have to come to peace with the fact that she won't be there, BUT she will be there in spirit and we absolutely love hearing about it and seeing pictures. She will be there to see all those babies people say you have as soon as you get married so while this is hard, there will be other important events. This is just a bump in the road and ultimately, at the end of the day, all you need is you and your husband there. Everyone else is just a bonus.

    Things will get better and your wedding will be stunning! Enjoy Hawaii. Can't wait to hear about it.

  3. Oh my gosh, I meant to say she isn't doing this to hurt your feeling, not IS. So sorry.

  4. I just came across your blog browsing through other people's blogs and had to comment on this post, because I can relate.

    My wedding was a destination wedding in August. For my family, this was a huge shock and very different compared to what they're used to doing. For my husband's family, it's totally normal and that's what everyone does. ALOT of drama was endured to pull it off.

    If I had any advice to give it would be to realize that although members of your family can't make it, just remember that they have always been there and it is sad that they won't be there for this huge milestone in your life, but I'm sure they are more than excited for you and will be sending sweet texts and making phone calls to encourage you along the way. Make sure you record your wedding to show your grandma later or even Skype if possible, so it's like she's there in a way! My grandpa was having heart problems, and couldn't make it. He kept if from everyone until after my wedding so that my Dad and Grandma would go. He ended up in the hospital for surgery and recovery months later and brought himself, me, and my husband to tears telling us how bad he wanted to be there.

    This is your special day, and you're going to have the best day ever. Just remember to enjoy every second. It's all about you and your future hubby! Congratulations!


Let me know what you think but remember play nice ya'll