Life's Tough.. Get a Helmet

Yesterday was rough…  It all started with my miserable co-worker. She hates her life so she finds it necessary to be rude to everyone and make everyone just as miserable as she is. Typically I can ignore her for the most part (even though we share an office.) I’m actually rather good at it. However, yesterday I gave in and couldn’t handle it. I don’t know why some people feel such a need to be so rude and disrespectful to everyone people. So after enough of her attitude I decided to go work on one of my job sites.  While on my drive to the job site (an hour away) I began to think about this 5K that I have been so excited about. I thought about how I haven’t been able to run in about a week due to the cold weather (cramping) our schedules and many other excuses things. I really began to let doubt in. I thought about how my co-worked dropped a bomb on me told last week that she had signed up for the same run and was bringing some of my guy co-workers along as well. So all I could see is her and her athlete buddies all watching and talking as I ended up walking part of the 5K. Feeling all of this pressure really made me cry. I’m not sure why I’m letting all of this affect me so much. I should just be proud that I have only been running 5 weeks now and can run 2 miles without stopping. But instead I’m focusing on the fact that I may not do as well as other people and that I am letting them control me so much that I even care what they think. But I am very hard on myself and when I set big goals I want to obtain them I’m not a settler. I don’t want to settle for walking part of the run. I also have told so many people my goal of running the whole thing, so I don’t want to have to tell them that I walked it when asked about it. I also have an amazing best friend and her fiancé who took the day off work to watch me run my first 5K. So I don’t want to disappoint them, I don’t want to disappoint R after I have talked so much about this for the last month and most of all I don’t want to disappoint myself.  I’m not sure what to do. Part of me wants to just give up and not even go on Saturday. The other part of me doesn’t want to give up on the goal and thinks I need to just push myself. With both of these feelings swirling around in my head it’s really stressing me out. Hopefully I’ll figure it out soon since the run is on Saturday.